Cravings

  I crave for your blood on my lips.

I crave to touch you like this:

             Slowly, painfully, softly killing you.

  I crave for your last breath

when I choke you to death

             gently kissing you.

  I crave that your soul divine

be devoured by mine

             until I become you

I crave for that look in your eyes

that tell's me it's me you despise

             while I'm loving you.

 I crave you!

Sleep better when alone

  A monster needs no friends, no lover to cuddle with.
When the light is gone so is all that's human about me.
  I sleep better when alone.
A demon burns like thousand suns
  and doesn't need someone to keep them warm
When I lay in bed
  I rather be alone
I don't want to share my covers, or be in someone's arms.
My cold sheets are all I need
 And the shadows on the wall
I sleep better when alone
 Yes, you can come home with me tonight
And you can stay a while
  But when we're done with the fun
You should run
Because I'm a monster
A nightmare
A horror
A scare
 And don't you know
I sleep better when alone

Replica

**"Nothing's what it seems to be,

I'm a replica, I'm a replica
Empty shell inside of me
I'm not myself, I'm a replica of me..."

                       
                              In the dark, a cold and empty space full of random noise.
My eardrums are braking.
                          I would say my heart is aching - for the rhyme.
     But there is no heart and no rhyme...only tears in the rain, empty tears with no meaning.
 I'm losing myself, almost nothing's left. I feel my mind falling in darkness, in a madness unknown to the world.
 I'm a replica. Nothing more. Just a whisper of a long lost unearthly brilliance, a broken porcelain doll. I lay in my dark corner hoping that someone remembers me, fixes me. My nails claw at my chest in a futile attempt to grab what's left of my soul and prevent it from slipping away.
 She's screaming - the real Me. She reaches for me and I reach back.
"Save me!" she cries. I want to tell Her I'm trying but She is my voice and all that voice can do is scream - "Save me!".
 For a long time I hoped someone would hear and I would be saved. I'm done hoping and I'm done waiting.
                                I'm a replica. But Me is still out there. I will find Her and save us.
                                                                      Save Me.

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** This is the chorus of the song "Replica" by Sonata Arctica. The rest of the song doesn't fit in with my story(or whatever this is) but this part was just perfect.

Killing loneliness

  There is a desert right before the wall which separates the world of the living and the world of the dead. No one knows it's there because the dead don't pass trough it, they fly over really quickly, and the living can't go there. At least most of them can't. I managed to get there and I walked, and walked, and walked. In the center of it are the dwellings of Darkness.

  When I finally arrived he welcomed me, made me a cup of coffee, sat down next to me and watched me as I stared into the hot beverage trying to find the words to say what it is I came to say. I didn't find them. I didn't move for eternities. And when I was about to brake he came close to me, took me in his arms and said:

  "There was nothing you could have done." 

We sat a while in silence I drank my coffee and after that I looked up at Darkness and a lone tear escaped from my eye.
 He then took out a knife and drove it trough my chest.