Insomniac

  I don't sleep. I can't. I lay in bed staring at the surrounding darkness, my thoughts rushing by in a mesmerizing whirl of nonsense. I turn once, twice, so many times and still nothing. I close my eyes but they just snap open again. When I can't take the noise in my head anymore I get up and go to the kitchen for a smoke. Most nights I can handle it - the millions of sounds, pictures, feelings that pop in my head, the way the world seems to shake and blur before my eyes. Even the twitches. Yes. I twitch sometimes. And sometimes it's really bad and I have no control over my body, like I'm possessed. And sometimes the thoughts in my head don't feel like they're mine.
  After the smoke I turn on the computer. I stare at the screen as it loads and wonder if this is a good idea. It's not. But I need to silence the noise in my head so I put on my headphones, turn on the volume and try to drown myself in the music. I read random stuff or stare at the ceiling.
  Somewhere around 3 am I put myself back in bed and close my eyes. This time they don't open by themselves but instead I see things. I see bugs and dead bodies. Dead bodies covered in insects. And they all move. I open my eyes but I still see them and I start blinking, trying to chase the visions away. At some point I pass out. Around 11am I slowly slip back into a sort of conscious state and  I start having dreams. Vivid, colorful, terrifying dreams.
  I finally get out of bed and start the day. Another day in the life of an insomniac.